I know, I know that's what he's supposed to do. He did something tonight when I put him to bed that I knew would happen eventually I just wasn't prepared for it to happen right now.
We've been working on getting him to stay in his own bed at night. We even had to put a door knob cover on so he can't get out. The first night it was on he cried & tried to get out for about 2 minutes but slept all night. The second night he cried & tried to get out for about a minute but then slept all night. The third night he didn't cry at all and didn't try to get out but he did wake up at 4:45. I let him go for a while but then got up with him because the alarm was going to go off anyway so I decided what the hell! Come to find out he had wet through his diaper & wanted changed. Poor guy!
So tonight we gave him a bath, chilled out in our bed with him & then I took him to bed. I stayed with him for about 15 minutes & he was still awake. I told him I loved him & he took the bink out & kissed me. Then I said, "I'm going to go now." He started to cry. I stroked his cheek and said, "You are a big boy now, right?" He grunted to agree. I said, "You are such a big, big boy, right?" He again grunted to agree. So I said, "Mommy loves you so much and I will see you in the morning." He took his bink out, kissed me & then.....are you ready....he waved at me. So I got up and left his room. He did not come to the door. He did not cry. He went to sleep on his own.
I must admit I got a little teary eyed because this was a big step for him. I know lots of people that will read this will think, "Big deal Kelly! My kid's done this since they were a baby!" But it IS a big deal for Cael. I am the mommy who rocked him to sleep from the time he was a newborn. I let him show me when he was ready to not be rocked but to just lay on me. Then I let him show me when he was ready to lay beside me instead of on me. Now I have let him show me that he understands what I am saying to him and that he knows he is growing up and doesn't need Mommy as much anymore. I love that he is growing up and is such a smart, sweet, caring boy but there is a part of me that misses the rocking him to sleep at night.
He has learned that he is growing up and doesn't need me as much anymore....and now I have to learn it too. Not too sure how I feel about this lesson yet.
2 comments:
Hi Kelly. I'm one of your new team mates at Shrinking Jeans. I popped by your blog just to check it out and had to say: I can SO relate to this!! It's both wonderful and melancholy when they take these steps into independence. I think the term *bittersweet* was coined for moments like these!
That boy will always need you. He may not cling to you anymore, but he needs you.
I need you too. So there. I'll come cling to you if that will help.
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