6/30 Random Facts About Me

What is the hardest thing you have ever experienced?

This is a toss up.  I thought death was the hardest thing.  The experience of being there with my mother-in-law when she passed was so hard.  To be 23 or 24 years old and watch your new husband deal with his mom passing away is awful.  I couldn't help him feel better in any way.  There was nothing I could do but be there for him.  I don't know how good of a job I even did with that!  We didn't know what to do at that age for a funeral, paperwork for insurance, bills, etc.  We learned pretty quickly how not nice some people can be.  I wasn't sure I would ever face anything more difficult than that.  And then this school year happened.  Nine years after that horrible experience I get hit, blindsided, pummled with this school year.  I saw even more how AWFUL and MEAN and DISRESPECTFUL people can be.  Unfortunately it hardened me.  To be made to feel like you are not good enough.  To be made to feel like you are mean when you know you are not.  (Okay, I can admit that I can be mean but I am not just a straight up mean person.)  To be made to feel like you are not wanted.  To be forced to make a decision that will affect your entire life, your family, your finances, everything.  To be forced to make a HARD decision that you NEVER thought you would have to make in your life.  It sucked!  I am glad we are in March, not that I have a love for the month or anything, but because that means I have moved that much past it.  I have a little business now that is booming.  The worst part about this business is that it can flucuate.  I never know if I'm going to be full or not so I never know when I'm going to have money or not.  That's hard.  But it is better to be here with Cael than to be somewhere that I know I am not wanted or needed.  I will NEVER go through something like that again.  From now on decisions like that which need to be made will be made on MY terms and noone elses.