The Marsh Family

The Marsh Family

Thursday, December 20, 2012

Days Like Today...

I know noone is going to be thrilled with this post.  No pictures of Cael & complaining by Kelly but I'm going to do it anyway.

It's days like today when I am less than thrilled with my life.  If I were still teaching I would be off today because my break would have already started.  If I were still teaching I would be thrilled with the snow & thrilled because my husband could spend the day at home too because he got a call for a snow day.  But I'm not still teaching.  And I'm not thrilled with the snow.  I have been awake since 4:00 because for some reason I couldn't fall back asleep.  I tried to go back to sleep and then the power went out at 4:30 and was out until 5:00.  Of course that means my fan went off & I can't sleep with no fan.  Of course I couldn't go back to sleep until the alarm went off at 5:30.  Of course I'm too lazy to get up and do something productive like work out so I just stayed in bed hitting the snooze button. 

I had to go ahead and get up to be downstairs by 6:15 because sometimes I have a kiddo that comes at that time & I won't get a phone call saying if they will be here or not.  I looked outside to see about clearing off the steps to the house but decided it wouldn't do any good because of the blowing that is going on.  I could clear them and within minutes they would be covered again!  I hope they aren't slick because I would feel terrible if anyone slipped on them.  We have a snow blower now but it wouldn't do any good to use that on the driveway yet. 

Now I know what people are going to say.  Other professions don't get snow days.  I know that.  But the fact is that I was a teacher & that's what I was used to.  Getting used to this "new normal" that is my life is prooving more difficult than I thought it would be.  Especially at this time of year.  And of course it's difficult in the summer also because I'm used to having lots of days off & now I don't get them.  It's hard when your life changes that much.  I know that I wouldn't really have the days off anyway because I would be taking care of Cael anyway but it's still difficult. 

The other difficult part of days like today is that my husband doesn't really feel like he gets the day off either.  He locks himself up in our bedroom because he can't come downstairs because of all the screaming kids.  He did it all summer too.  Sometimes I just feel like what happened a year ago has ruined our "perfect" little life.  Will anything ever go back to "normal"?  I suspect they I'm glad he didn't have to go to work and risk his life on the slick roads that can't be cleared yet.  If anything I'm jealous that he gets to stay home.  I'm jealous that he gets 2 1/2 weeks off  & I get 5 days off.  I miss teaching.  I miss having somewhere to go each day.  I miss seeing adults.  And I miss having people that want to see me each day.  I suppose my daycare kiddos want to see me each day but for some reason it's not the same. 

I'm really going to try to not let the mood I am in today put a damper on my Christmas spirit I've been feeling I'm going to try to make the best of today.  I'm going to try to get some projects done with my son.  I might take him out to enjoy the snow but only if the "blizzard conditions" quit.  The wind is INSANE!    We're going to drink chocolate milk (maybe hot chocolate if they can handle it) & watch The Polar Express.  I'm going to finish getting the office/playroom cleaned up.  Cael is going to finish some projects for Christmas presents.  I might try to make a wreath.  We're going to try to stay warm & not go crazy.  I know that life is going to be fine.  I know that my family is going to be fine.  We are together so we will be fine.  There.  I'm done complaining.