What are you thankful for? In the last 2 months I have asked myself that question A LOT!!! For those last 2 months it hasn't seemed like I had much to be thankful for. But I know that I really do have much to be thankful for. I am struggling this morning with so much but I am trying to keep myself going. I am trying to remind myself of what I do have & not be so worried about what I might not have or what I have lost. So I thought I would take a little time & put down what I am thankful for, what I do have.
Family: I would be nowhere without my family. I know that there are people out there that don't have much family that they can count on. Through my hell I have been supported by my family - all of my family. My husband has been amazing. I know I don't give him enough credit or show him enough love for what he does for me. Courtney has helped me stay focused & reminded me of who I am and what I have done in my life that I should be proud of. He allowed me to make decisions that I needed to make for myself. I also know though that the decisions I needed to make for myself & that I made for myself are going to be hard for us financially - at least for a little bit. I am scared to death right now about money & how we are going to make it. But I know that we will make it. We've made it through hard times in our (almost) 10 years of marriage & we will make it through this hard time, too. My son has been amazing. He has no idea what's going on right now! I am thankful for that! This little dude is just happy as a clam because he's home with his mommy! I know that in the end being home with him, no matter how hard it may be financially, will be a blessing. I missed his first 2 years by having to send him to daycare but now is the time for me to be with him. These are the years that he will remember - not his first 2 years. He remembers things now and he will remember that his mommy got to stay home with him to take care of him. His smile has reminded me to be thankful for him. I adore that kid more than anything! My parents have been amazing! They have helped us financially, they have been there to support us - especially me. They have driven to our home to be with me when I've needed them. On days when I've been so far down I didn't think I'd be able to get back up. My sister has been amazing. She's so far away but she's been here with me, too. In fact, she's flying home for Thanksgiving and it will be so good to see her. She may be having issues of her own but I wouldn't know it because she's done nothing but listen to me complain! The rest of my family - everyone that knows what's going on (some of you that aren't quite sure what's going on!) that has called or even just said a prayer for me has been amazing. I know that I have people behind me supporting me. I know that I have people who think everything will work out for me. I sure hope you all are right!
Health: I am healthy, my family is healthy, my friends are healthy. I know I could be healthier but I am thankful for how healthy I am right now. I know things could be so much worse...but they're not so I have to be thankful for that.
Home: I have a home to be at. I have a bed to sleep in, a car that runs well, clothes to wear & food to eat. I have everything I need to survive. Could I use more? Of course! But I also know from living in Puerto Rico that I can live on less. Is it going to be hard? Yes it is. I KNOW it will be hard. I know that there are some tough times ahead but we'll make it.
Hope: Okay so this is the one I'm struggling with today. I am excited about getting to be at home with Cael. I am excited about bringing new friends into our home for him to play with. I am excited to be able to teach a much smaller group of children and to get to take the best care of them that I can. But I am struggling because I'm impatient. I want to get kiddos in this daycare so I can move on with my life financially. I need to be able to support my family but still live comfortably. I know we'll probably still live paycheck to paycheck but we can handle that.
I am trying hard to be excited for Thanksgiving & Christmas but I'm struggling there, too. Right now I'm worried about too much to be too excited. Cael & I will be decorating for Christmas when we get home from Thanksgiving and maybe that will help out. My yard sign & business cards should be in today (I doubt before we leave though!) and Courtney brought home flyers yesterday. Hopefully I'll be getting phone calls by next week! I'm really looking forward to next year - I think 2012 is going to be a great year!
I hope you all have a wonderful Thanksgiving & start to the holiday season. I hope everyone takes a little time this week to stop & remember all that you have to be thankful for. Thanks for letting me get some things off my chest.